The long way home | The Life of K: The long way home

Tuesday, May 17, 2016

The long way home

It hasn't been an easy month.

Pockets of good here and there, but overall I'm feeling run down. I think it started about 4 weeks ago when I was on call and, just the way things work out, we had 3 clients go into labour. I was getting twitchy about my phone ringing. I was relieved when Sunday night came and I could switch the phone to one of my partners.

I was definitely in need of a break, but it didn't really come. Part of being the off call doula is you're the one working the postpartum shifts, and on top of that I had to go see all the babies that had been born.

I tried to relax, I really did.

I spent time with my family and time alone. I drank cider. All of a sudden I was on call again. It was two weeks later but it felt like only a couple of days. I made it through my week with one baby born and instead of feeling relief Sunday night when I passed over the phone, I felt a bit of dread. The kids and I had just dropped J off at the airport because his work is taking him away for 2 weeks.

I'm fine. We're fine. Being home by myself with the kids these days isn't too bad. It's so much easier than when they were younger and I have help when I need it. It's just that feeling of never getting a break.

What a sweet mug!
So I'm trying to do little things for myself. With a gift card from a client, I bought myself a mug that loves me. I also broke into the world of colouring. I bought myself some M&Ms and a cheesecake that I've been enjoying while I watch tv with Sandy the cat.

Jumping in!
Yesterday, on my way home from seeing a client, I took the long way home. I drove through downtown (something I typically avoid) and all the way down Bank Street. I watched the street change from cars and pedestrians everywhere with buildings crowding in to shorter buildings spaced out, to country highway leading out of town.

My first piece.
On my way home from the hospital last week, I drove down my favourite street in Ottawa: the NCC Scenic Driveway. It's like something out of a movie and I love it. I love driving down it year round, seeing the bare trees in winter, trees that are getting greener every time I drive by. Daffodils in the grass along the edge of the road.

I might have given myself a hand cramp.
I'm trying to be nice to myself. I'm trying to be gentle to my body that's showing signs of stress. Gentle with my left shoulder that's been hurting for a while. Trying to stretch my sore muscles.

I figure I'll get a break in 3 weeks... until then I'm trying to enjoy the pockets of good. To really sink into them and enjoy them. And to take the roads I enjoy.


  1. Glad to hear that you can still find time to do relaxing things in your hectic schedule. Just remember that it will always get better. Love your mug by the way!

  2. Keep holding on to those good moments. They will help you keep you head up when things get tough. Hope things ease up for you soon though!

  3. Loved this post - it was so calming and meditative. Just what *I* need to relax - hope you are getting plenty for yourself, too!