To the mom at the park | The Life of K: To the mom at the park

Friday, October 3, 2014

To the mom at the park

Little K and I were enjoying our morning. We had dropped Little J at the bus and come to the park. Little K was in the stroller with two of her bears. I had a travel mug full of tea and the sun was shining. We stopped at the picnic table to have a snack.

IMG_1084 (Medium)
Little K on the swing.

You walked up with a friend, both pushing strollers. You were chatting as you unloaded your kids, about the weather and the park. Your kids were being kids and exploring the strollers they just got out of before toddling over to the sand. You wondered out loud, in my direction, about teaching empathy. How can I teach my son that he has to share and that her feelings might get hurt? He doesn't like when people touch his stroller so why should he just touch hers? you asked.

I smiled. I said to keep talking to him. That empathy is a hard emotion.

You continued to tell me that you read all sorts of books about adoption but none about parenting. How would you know if you were doing it right.

That's when I let you in on the secret. The secret that all parents learn. None of us, not one, knows what we're doing. We don't. We try one thing and if it's works we celebrate and keep on keeping on. If it doesn't, we try something else. One thing will work for the first kid but not for the next. One thing will work when the kid is 2 but not when they're 3.

You're a good parent because you care. You're a good parent because you want your kid to learn to care. Please keep doing what you're doing.

To the mom at the park: you are a good mom and you're doing a great job.


  1. Lovely, and absolutely, perfectly, true. Very well said!

  2. Thank you! So true and so helpful to hear it once in awhile.

  3. Yes! Thanks for this. I have no idea what I am doing. Every part of my life with my 10 month old son has come from trial and error. Then, just when I think I have something figured out, baby boy grows and changes again. The best I can do is become adaptable, embrace spontaneity, and allow myself to be the constant for him in his crazy life of never ending change. Thanks for this post :)

  4. I agree - as long as you are loving, caring, trying, and paying attention - you are a great parent!

  5. I loved the advice you gave to this mom. It's true. Parents are winging it as every child is different. All we can do is love them and hope that they turn out alright. Thanks for this post, K!