Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day | The Life of K: Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day

Monday, October 15, 2012

Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day

Today is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day.  My heart goes out to all of you who have experienced a loss.  Please know that you are not alone.  In fact, 1 in 4 women has experienced a miscarriage.  Isn't that mind blowing?

It was 4 years ago that I was pregnant for the first time.  We had been trying for a while and seeing that positive pregnancy test was surprising and exciting.  The day I started bleeding I frantically searched online for bleeding during pregnancy.  I came across all kinds of hopeful information about pregnancies that survived, but also so many sad stories of loss.  I knew it was over when I passed some tissue and spent hours in the hospital waiting for a doctor to confirm what I already knew.

The worst part was that it was too early for them to confirm anything and I had to wait days before seeing my doctor who had a better ultrasound machine.  The wait, the little bits of hope still there, was horrible.  It was confirmed eventually and my body did what it needed to do, and for that I am so thankful.

Even though I only knew I was pregnant two weeks and didn't make it half way through the first trimester, I was still invested.  I was excited and nervous and hopeful and thinking about this little person we'd meet the next summer.  Instead of happily telling our families and friends we were expecting a baby, we had to tell them I had been pregnant and wasn't anymore. 

My miscarriage affected me in so many ways.  It was heavy on my mind during my next pregnancy and makes me more sympathetic to women who have experienced one of their own.  Every so often I think of how different my life would be if I'd had that baby in June 2009 instead of the baby I did have in September.

If you have experienced a loss, I am sorry.  You are part of the club that you never wanted to be in, one you might not have really known existed, but a big and thankfully very supportive one.  Even if you don't light a candle at 7pm tonight please take a minute to think about the pregnancies and babies lost and the people who live with it every day.

Some resources:
I Am The Face
Surviving River

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