Are we there yet? | The Life of K: Are we there yet?

Thursday, October 25, 2012

Are we there yet?

I feel like a little kid on a roadtrip wondering just how long it's going to be.  This week, friends, has been a tough one.  Seriously, is it Friday yet?

I hit a low point last night.  Every night before bed, I go over our day with Little J.  Last night I said "and then we watched tv" a few too many times.  Then I cried. 

I've been in survival mode this week without J here.  I've been dealing with kids who obviously miss their dad, kids who normally go to bed pretty easily suddenly taking a long time and many many reminders to stay in bed.  I've been raising my voice... actually, let's tell it how it is.  I've been yelling.  I've been low on patience and ready to snap so many times.  I've been resorting to tv too often. 

And last night I just broke down.  I was sitting with Little J in his dark room waiting while he ate again.  I had tears streaming down my face.  I felt awful.

When I finally got both kids to sleep and could finally just breathe, I got my cat and went to bed.  I vowed that tomorrow would be different.  I promised myself we would get out of the house, we would spend time outside, I would get something accomplished that wasn't just me surviving the week.  I promised myself I'd be more patient.

Thanks to a decent sleep even a 5:30am wake up call couldn't stop me today.  We had a great day - play group, the library, and playing outside in the morning, and a good nap for Baby K, down time for me and Little J and more outside play this afternoon.  I managed to get a bathroom cleaned, the laundry done and the garbage out. 

I had some help in the form of my sister in law spending 3 hours here otherwise I'd be doing all those things now instead of writing.  As it stands, it's Thursday night, the house is calm and I'm heading to bed.

There won't be a Friday Feature post tomorrow.  This week has been a tough one and I'm guessing tomorrow will be a lot like the last little bit of a race.  I'll need to put my head down and just keep going to make it until J pulls into the driveway.

2 comments:

  1. It's okay ... we all have those days.
    I know you probably don't feel it, but I think you're amazing.
    I'm in awe of what you do. Being a parent is the hardest job there is and I think you're one of the best parents I know. If this were a performance appraisal, I'd be giving you "exceeds expectations" across the board! HUGS

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