Unsolicited Advice | The Life of K: Unsolicited Advice

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Unsolicited Advice

I have to tell you about a woman I had the pleasure of sharing an elevator ride with at work. I went down to the first floor of my building to the cafeteria to get some food. Unless I see someone I know in the caf, I bring my food back to my desk so I can read while eating. I work on the 6th floor.

I get in the elevator with an older woman I had never seen before. She gestures to my belly and asks if it's my first. Normal question and I tell her it's my second and that I have a little boy at home. Her next question threw me: "Did you breastfeed him?"

Hello personal question from a woman I don't know at work in an elevator.

I'm honest so I told her I tried but ended up pumping and bottle feeding him. (Note to self: You don't have to be honest with strange people in the elevator.)

Out pours the advice. Did I know that it's all about the latch? The baby has to get the entire areola in his mouth. A nursing pillow works wonders. Once you get past the first 4 weeks, it's smooth sailing. And on. And on.

She hit the button for the 7th floor but got out with me on the 6th to continue her tirade of breastfeeding tips that I certainly didn't ask for.

I was a little stunned to say the least. I know people love to give advice. I find I have to stop myself from telling someone how to do something if I think I know better. It's amazing, though, what people will tell you when you're pregnant. Breastfeeding can be such a touchy subject and I'm still not pleased that it didn't work well with Baby J. Either way, I don't need you, Miss Stranger, telling me all sorts of things without knowing me from Eve.

What is it about the growing belly that brings out the advice and the touching and the strange looks from people?


  1. oh my heck! That's crazy. A friend of mine decided against breastfeeding altogether without even trying so I can only imagine what people say to her. People need to butt out unless asked!

  2. I would have gone crazy all over her busybody a*s. I cannot stand for these breastfeeding nazis telling every new mother that if they don't breastfeed *correctly* - they may as well toss the kid out the window.

    It's totally unacceptable. Even worse though, are nurses on the maternity ward with the hard-core self-righteous speeches about how your child will end up in prison if you don't breastfeed *correctly*. AAaaaaack.

    As you can see, it makes me a little crazy. It's just SO unfair. Not everyone can do it. Not everyone wants to. That doesn't mean they don't love and care for their child. Seriously, these people should be reigned in. Or slapped. Or something.