It hasn't been an easy month.
Pockets of good here and there, but overall I'm feeling run down. I think it started about 4 weeks ago when I was on call and, just the way things work out, we had 3 clients go into labour. I was getting twitchy about my phone ringing. I was relieved when Sunday night came and I could switch the phone to one of my partners.
I was definitely in need of a break, but it didn't really come. Part of being the off call doula is you're the one working the postpartum shifts, and on top of that I had to go see all the babies that had been born.
I tried to relax, I really did.
I spent time with my family and time alone. I drank cider. All of a sudden I was on call again. It was two weeks later but it felt like only a couple of days. I made it through my week with one baby born and instead of feeling relief Sunday night when I passed over the phone, I felt a bit of dread. The kids and I had just dropped J off at the airport because his work is taking him away for 2 weeks.
I'm fine. We're fine. Being home by myself with the kids these days isn't too bad. It's so much easier than when they were younger and I have help when I need it. It's just that feeling of never getting a break.
|What a sweet mug!|
|My first piece.|
|I might have given myself a hand cramp.|
I figure I'll get a break in 3 weeks... until then I'm trying to enjoy the pockets of good. To really sink into them and enjoy them. And to take the roads I enjoy.